i’m awake now. it’s misty, grey, dank, drab. it’s not even cozy, not quite… i’m swimming in the gray light as if barely here. the starkness of this morning is obvious and loud. i’m fully awake and kind of hungry.
i have prayed over each of you, and that was after i skipped myself a little bit. i guess that’s cheating, but all i can say about where i am this morning, is that i have been in God’s embrace. i really needed to just be there for a little while, to be held by Him. sometimes, there are no adequate words to invite the Holy Spirit; there isn’t even a prayer to offer, really. sometimes, like this morning, i just need to be held by my Father in heaven. you know?
well as for you, i have some words! if you can believe it- He blessed me to pray for you, even though i don’t know how to pray for me, and am quite broken today. my words are from my prayers this morning, and i pray for you to be blessed and held together today by my sharing- however disjointed and rambling. so, first of all i have prayed for those who have this thing:
the ability to hold the Love of God at bay because of idealization. building up the idea of Love as so beautiful and pure that it is untouchable keeps us from allowing God to love us. striving to improve ourselves so much that we deny who we really are (preventing us from feeling the love of God deep down where it counts).
so, this morning i pray over the shy ones to be loved as they are, and stop striving to be like someone else. i pray for the men who idealize love to be dashed to pieces because of the realness of the Lord’s broken body, spilt out blood, true and real resurrection.
i pray over the ones who have set their sights on such spiritual heights that they do not see the awesome testimony already shining. may you see the true privilege of such humble, hidden treasure. i pray also a strange kind of prayer: i pray along with those who are praying hard, pressing in. i join with the Holy Spirit who is in you. keep on asking and knocking!
for the ministers, i am thankful and reminded of the good things God brings forth in me because of your ministry- and my prayer for you is for financial provision, and for greater evidence of the security of being rich in faith. i pray for the wisdom, for the ministers, to discern what is best. not just the good things, but what is best. i pray for those who are far away: may God keep and chisel you, so that you emerge with successful faith- touched, real, powerful. i pray for protection from the waves and winds of other, erroneous teachings. i pray for those who have greater and greater spheres of influence: may the Lord bring you an early spring this year. and for those whose dazzling, piercing beauty to the Lord has been formed from rock, from the pressure of longsuffering… i pray for you to be able to see with the eyes of the most precious Jesus, to see how even in your own unfinishedness, the Father finds you endearing. for those waiting in faith and preparation, i pray for confidence. i pray for the ability to build, and grow without having to tear down what has already been built- i pray for those awaiting big changes- to be able to find new insight without doubting or starting over from scratch. may you rest in the Creator’s work.
For the stuck, stubborn, willfull, rebellious and angry ones: i pray for you to let go of attempting to experience God the way that others do, and to face the revelation He chooses to bless you with. i pray for your bodies too, so that you will have the strength to love one another (and this is not out of human will or personal effort). i pray for grace.
I pray for the Righteous One to make all of us teachable and really, for the Word of Christ to hold us all together… like the blood that connects us and makes us live, may His blood bring us Life worth living today.
“who has given to Me, that i should repay him? whatever is under the whole heaven is Mine.” Job 41.
“retain the standard of sound words which you have heard from me [Paul], in the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you.” 2nd timothy 1.
Father in Heaven, as you hold me, hold my friends.
