comfort in truth

“your servant will meditate on your decrees. your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors.” psalm 119, gimel.

the truth is something that gets spoken of in abstract terms way too much.

when the Lord condemned the hypocrites, he said really harsh things, but it was the truth: “woe to you scribes and pharisees, because you devour widow’s houses and for a pretense make long prayers; therefore you will receive a greater condemnation…for you tithe mint and dill and cumin and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law; justice and mercy and faithfulness; these are the things you should have done without neglecting the former.”

i am thirsty for the truth of God to pierce my soul and bring me more freedom. i get imprisoned in my own thoughts of self-condemnation, but so often even those thoughts, though harsh enough, do not touch the truth of God. i do not have the power or mercy to approach being just enough to condemn, so why do i seethe at the things that are not right in the world, and judge myself with my own standards too? if i have been a hypocrite- let him tell me how. if i have neglected his truth, let me fall on my knees and turn around! this morning, i am struck by the closeness and comfort of truth- His truth. when everything in this world comes down to personal truth, when everything can be determined in my own deceitful heart, i find myself completely lost. i have felt so lost recently, allowing myself to get out of sync, allowing myself to determine everything- falling into my own judgements. so this morning, i am just here, in the office of the best Counselor ever. rushed a bit, but still at least trying to sit still. my confessions:

JUSTICE
life is not fair. but God is still in control. he will judge rightly and he knows everything.
MERCY
his compassion touches me and lifts each of us up from every dark place.
FAITHFULNESS
the Lover of our Souls is trustworthy, reliable, and pursues us with utmost passion.

Oh how i long for your compassion, Holy Father! how i long for your words of life! in every small movement and thought, if only i could be immersed in your decrees. Lord i desire for myself your peaceful balance, your powerful center and knowing. i desire you to work within my heart so much that i don’t let you do it. take your place, Lord. take your place. now i know mine, and here at your feet, the smells couldn’t be sweeter. the vision couldn’t be clearer. though the future seems dark and uncertain at times, i know my place before you. Thank you for comforting me, thank you for dwelling with me. i pray for my friends. break through with your Holy Spirit wind- a song for life, lift up your beautiful servants faces, piece together the scraps on the floor, straighten what is crooked, take the sting of death away, simplify, wrap your children up in love, heal the unseen wounds though it hurts, provide your children with bread and goodness, shelter, and hope. weave into our souls your truth and nearness. you are just, you are merciful, you are faithful. let us not forget your decrees. it is you who is working in us for your purposes. it is you who works in us for your purposes. may we each thirst for your truth, and hunger for the couch of your Comfort. you never change, thankfully you never change.

“he has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” micah 6.7

again, “your servant will meditate on your decrees. your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors.”

FRIENDS, this morning i leave you with mary’s prayer, as she is one example of the attitude to have in all things: “for the Mighty One has done great things for me; and holy is his name. and his mercy is upon generation after generation toward those who fear him. he has done mighty deeds with is arm; he has scattered those who were proud in the thoughts of their heart. he has brought down rulers from their thrones, and has exalted those who were humble. he has filled the hungry with good things; and sent away the rich empty-handed.” luke 1.