…”But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
these words are boasting words. memorizing this verse over and over for most of my life, singing songs with these words in them, and having knots form in my throat during troubled times over these words, all come together and create prejudice in me. so what is paul saying, really?
why do i identify so deeply with this passage? and, how can i understand its meaning? perhaps i identify most with the torment paul describes just before this verse, the thorn in his flesh. i often feel like all i have is weaknesses, insults, hardships and difficulties. i feel pain and sorrow deeply, even the sorrows of others. am i a pessimist? not exactly. do i shallowly martyr myself? hardly. do i dwell on what is wrong instead of what is right? well, usually i do, and i admit it. when it all comes down to it, i often fall into pits of despair, lamenting my self, my life, my accomplishments. i think about what i could have done better, the character traits i wished i had, the failures i see in my life as complete. i could dress up that outlook by calling myself a realist, or fatalistic, or down-to-earth, i could even assert false humility. but labeling this tendency to make it sound more normal, doesn’t help. is it bad self-esteem, fear of failure, fear of success? i don’t know. all i know is that i tend to look inward when i hear that verse from paul’s second letter to the corinthians. i am touched every time i hear it or read it. i tend to identify myself with the weaknesses, but i also have the challenge to grab firmly to the hope offered there. will i ever be turned around by that hope, into a new outlook, completely? to smile instead of groan? will the joy ever overflow as deeply as the tears of pain?
“for when i am weak, then i am strong.” i am strong, but not because of what i can do, or have done, or anything i am called to accomplish in the future. when will i ever be able to make a difference in the world? with all the terrible things happening that i cannot prevent or help, how do i say that i am strong? i am strong, but not because of the parents i came from or the people that i know, the religious training i’ve had, the verses i’ve memorized, the spiritual experiences i’ve had (good and bad). it doesn’t matter what skills i have or potential or IQ. i am strong because of the fellowship of Jesus Christ. i am strong because he lives in me, he qualifies me, and he is in fact, ALL the strength i have, the ONLY strength available. now that is what paul is saying here, and i am sure there are more practical and more clear, concise applications and interpretations of paul’s words— in a concordance or commentary somewhere, or in eloquant books. but sometimes eloquence surpasses true understanding. sounding good is often nothing compared to being able to grab onto the good and live it.
nobody needs to convince me of my weakness. i will bring it up myself. i will dwell on my weakness enough. what i need today, is to hold onto the hope of Christ. his sufficiency. to take my eyes off of myself (even the lowly me that i bemoan), and to put my eyes on the Lord. this is the hope that no one can take away. this is the hope that no circumstance can crush.
not hurricanes, not tragedy, not unemployment, diverted and transformed dreams, defered hope, oppression, taxes, not even death. this is the hope that caused the prophet habakkuk to proclaim, “though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the Lord, i will be joyful in God my savior…”
heavenly Father, may we each fall before you and let go of our self-concepts, interpretations of spiritual things, and worship you. may we adore you and accept the unworldly hope you offer. come to me today, to instruct my heart on how to live in you, and not in the shadow of my own empty thoughts and dispair. your strength is not emotional, nor is it mental. your strength reaches through all the dimensions i know and holds my weakness in your grasp. i will not fear the future, regret the past, or sit idly by in the moment. father, your strength is here to sustain us. would that we cease to measure your effectiveness by what we see with our eyes, and fix our inner gaze on you instead.
